I really connected with the course materials this week. In reviewing the article "What's the difference between girls and boys?", I reflected on my own experiences with gender and gender roles. I have an aunt, my dad's oldest sister, who I now know is transgendered. I'm fascinated by this, because I always just knew her as my Aunt Sharon. She would usually bring a girlfriend to our family functions (I never thought anything about it because it was normal to me. Some women have boyfriends, some have girlfriends), and at some point (as a child) I realized that she was what you would call "gay". My grandmother never knew that she was gay, because if she had, my aunt Sharon would have been disowned (They were strict Mormans, with a capital M). What a shame that my grandmother never knew who her child really was.
The past few years, she has asked us to start calling her by different names, first "Shay", then "Shane". I finally asked her this year, and she told me she is transgendered, that her brain was born a different gender than her body (how she explained it). And it all made perfect sense. She is the most masculine woman I've ever met. Her and my dad were really close, and I understand that now. She was more like an older brother to him than a sister. To connect to the course materials, I think that we are much more open these days to letting children be who they are (gender), regardless of what that means. We still have a long long ways to go, but hopefully as the stereotypical "gender roles" become more and more relaxed, people like her will find a greater degree of acceptance and understanding. I can only wish for her that it had been that way when she was a kid.
I think it's really important to not put thoughts into your children's head as far as men can't be with men, and women can't be with women. If you tell your child that at an early age, they start to judge and look at people with confusion. I think it is great that you family (other than your grandmother) accepted your aunt for being transgender. I have a very good friend who is Transgender and I accept him for who he is, and my only hope is that as my child grows he will accept people for who they are. It's sad that your grandmother never truly knew who her daughter was, but at least your aunt never had to be discriminated against by her own family. I really like how you related your life and family to the articles.
ReplyDeleteThat is nice that you and your dad accepted your aunt for who she really is. My friend's husband revealed his "true self" after their baby was born. She was so devastated and that led to their separation. He said that while growing up his parents was strictly enforcing the" boys will be boys and girls will be girls" gender role and even put him into military school. After he came out from the military, he married my friend to f the delight of his parents. After soul searching, and hours of counseling, he decided to come out into the open. Now his three years old daughter is confused, she says, “I have two mommies, one was my daddy before." It is interesting and confusing at the same time.
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